Visting parents – God thinks otherwise
Hyderabad is where my parents stay. I work out of Chennai. Though not a home-sick kind of guy but still like going home. I feel there’s a certain duty that I owe towards my parents. And these duties we can carry out only on being with them.
Once during a discussion with my close friend – Iti – we agreed that there were so many things that our parents depend on us for. But most of the time, we were away [atleast Iti and I were away from our parents while studying and working] from them pursuing what we called the ‘career’ aspects. And in fact, they [our parents] wanted us to succeed in them. And once we got into the ‘career’ mode that was it, we went on with our lives as if it was now absolutely independent from the whole world. Yeah, we keep talking about how “teamwork” is important at workplace and how we should life our teammates when they are down or help them out in case they had some issues. Somewhere down the line, we slowly pushed our parents and family to the background. They are always there.
In fact, when my dad bought his first car – a second hand blue Maruti 800, I was so excited. At that time I was with my parents [doing my intermediate] and it was really a happy issue for me. Not that I did something great on the car’s arrival. It was just that I was there. After that, we moved through a new white maruti 800 – to – a silver maruti Zen – to – a Hyundai Accent. I never even knew the day when these cars were being purchased. [Yeah, I know the mistake here is mine and throughout this article I continue to admit that the mistake is mine]. I missed sharing the joy of my parents on getting the new cars. I wasn’t there.
My brother on the other hand has always had the great fortune of being with our parents throughout. Though he feels he would have done better if he had moved away for his undergraduation [Like me], I think he has a long way to go. During which he can actually go through everything he wants.
Iti says, “There are so many things that our parents want us to do for them. But they don’t generally say it out because they feel we might not like it. But as you start living with them, you realise that there are so many small things that you do which give them immense happiness. These things you cannot do if you are away from them”. Typical of Iti to put the most sensible of things in the most simple of ways!
I have been wanting to go to Hyderabad for the past couple of months now. And something or the other keeps coming in my way. This time I have planned to make it there for the weekend of 24th & 25th. And with heavy rains lashing the state of AP, many trains have been cancelled [including Charminar express]. And my dad also says, that it’s better I stay put at Chennai. And he was the one who was asking me if I would be coming home this weekend or not during every phone call.
God has his own ways of dealing with things. I find myself too small-minded to accept his ways. And I can never be big enough to refuse them. If he just wanted me not to go to Hyderabad he could have done something else. What’s the use of troubling so many people all over the state for it? I protest. And God, you better listen. Enough is enough. Among many other things, You flooded mumbai, hit New Orleans with a hurricane, now again inundating Andhra. What’s your anger against?
Hi
You are right god has his own way of dealing things which none of us can understand.But always beleive in the saying “When god takes something away he is not punishing you,But he is merely empptying your hands to receive something better”
-Veda
Veda:
Thanks for your comment! :)
What you are saying is right! That’s how the present situation should be looked at!
But it’s tough na?!
hey adi…
our parents have always been for us and done a lot for us which cannot be counted..its our duty to hear their worries, concerns and be with them…
everything happpens for a reason..the disasters occuring have something for us to learn from it..
Hi Bhumi,
You are so right!
Yes, everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we (I) fail to understand the reason because of our limitations.
Thanks for your comment! :)
Adi I believe it is a way of life, our parents had to go through the exact same phase that we have to now. My dad had to leave his village, come to Mumbai and couldn’t be next to his parents all the time. I had to leave India, come to US and not be there with them all the time.
And i guess the same cycle will be repeated for me. Is it right – Can we do more – I sure do wish to do more but i know i have my limitations and practicality plays a role too. But somewhere i wish i could talk also do things like Vijay says in Vaseegra “Max if i go to America , i can buy a car and send the picture to my father, but if i stay here, i can be close to him, help him whenever he needs me, thats more important to me”
Very soon i want to do the same.
And on the note of hurricanes – let us stop telling God is a reason for it and some benefit will come out of it – I think there is no good going to come from a storm ravaging a city and leaving scores dead plus more on the middle of the road.
We are purely responsible for it – we have better system to predict it – we had a chance to prepare ourselves against it – do we do anything – No – Nature has its course – there are reasons why this happens – but we are equipped now – atleast now stop blaming and do something to prepare ourselves for the next time.
Andhra – this happens year after year and we sit and watch it. – No use blaming God or asking him why he has anger against us
Aatma:
Practicality is just a cover. There’s something that we always want to do and we just give numerous reasons to swerve away from that. Practicality is probably one among the top 3.
We are purely responsible for it. I completely agree. But we are responsible for everything. Being responsible doesn’t necessarily mean doing something about it. Being aware that we are responsible is in itself a distinct change from blaming it on someone. I don’t think we can have an action for everything we are responsible for. For example, I am responsible for upholding the traffic rules in my city. If people are breaking the rules at their will, there’s very little I can do about it. But there are people who ought to make sure the rules are followed in the spirit. All I can do is follow the rules to the tee. Similarly, if you and I are responsible for the natural disasters, then at the stage we are in right now, we can only express our solidarity towards the victims and the relatives of the affected.
Hi Adi
I feel for you in your post. Please know that parents yes indeed need (wish) for us to help them. But do you know what is most important to them.. seeing their child realize their dreams, and possibly having a little bit more opportunity than they did. Your success in life is an accomplishment for them. All a parent wishes for a child is pure happiness, love, and safety. To see them live the life they gave you to the fullest. What could possibly be a better accomplishment than that.
As per the hurricanes and the seemingly angry lashing of God. My opinion has always been this of seemingly needless death, pain and/or destruction : I believe that humans themselves have ignored gods intentions for us in this world. Humans are never satisfied, we are always striving for more more more. Humans have disrupted natures balance, in regards to every aspect of environment. We have overpopulated, strived to live way longer, etc. Nature was intended to be natural selection. This is neccessary in creating balance. I believe that any disaster that causes significant death is for a reason indeed, whether it be, hurricane, disease, starvation. It does not mean that it is any less devastating. But where would this world be if there were no significant losses of life. We would be in an even more desperate state. I believe that this is God’s way of trying to slow down, have us re-evaluate our lives and future and how we should treat the world and environment around us. Giving us the chance and space to start over. Listening to mother nature. So many advances in technology have proved to be very great, but in the same time, not always. Sorry for blabing on so much. :)
Hi Adi
I feel for you in your post. Please know that parents yes indeed need (wish) for us to help them. But do you know what is most important to them.. seeing their child realize their dreams, and possibly having a little bit more opportunity than they did. Your success in life is an accomplishment for them. All a parent wishes for a child is pure happiness, love, and safety. To see them live the life they gave you to the fullest. What could possibly be a better accomplishment than that.
As per the hurricanes and the seemingly angry lashing of God. My opinion has always been this of seemingly needless death, pain and/or destruction : I believe that humans themselves have ignored gods intentions for us in this world. Humans are never satisfied, we are always striving for more more more. Humans have disrupted natures balance, in regards to every aspect of environment. We have overpopulated, strived to live way longer, etc. Nature was intended to be natural selection. This is neccessary in creating balance. I believe that any disaster that causes significant death is for a reason indeed, whether it be, hurricane, disease, starvation. It does not mean that it is any less devastating. But where would this world be if there were no significant losses of life. We would be in an even more desperate state. I believe that this is God’s way of trying to slow down, have us re-evaluate our lives and future and how we should treat the world and environment around us. Giving us the chance and space to start over. Listening to mother nature. So many advances in technology have proved to be very great, but in the same time, not always. Sorry for blabing on so much. :)
Lisa,
That was an invaluable comment!
Your words about parents and children really touched my heart. Thanks so much! Living the life that they have given us to the fullest becomes so significant if seen in the light of your words! I am grateful to you for the perspective you have given.
Regarding natural disasters, am totally with you. God is giving us a chance at every stage. And we let it go by thinking it will never happen to us, so why worry! Very sad state of affairs. We need to improve our way of living and looking at the environment around us!
Lisa, this is probably one of the best comments I have recieved on my blog! Thanks so much! :)
Beautiful post Adi – absolutely beautiful..I feel like talking to u after reading this post..gimme ur number – will call u – need to speak to my dear friend :)..
In my case there are 2 diff things..
With my mother – I am always attached..and my only goal in life is to make sure she is happy..I tell her everything I do – from my different luv affairs to all my negative aspects..everything I tell her..She is my Divine GOD! She is everything to me..there are so many nights I cry in the bed thinking that I will be losing her..I cant even digest the thought of losing my mother! She is the most important person and no one including my wife can take her place!
I am a sort of person who tells my luv openly if I luv someone (evident from my blogs abt crushes ;) )
But with my father – I do luv him..but I dont like his attitude..we both differ in our principles and its hard for me to sync with him..so I dont show my luv and affection to him..Being an emotional person its so hard for me to control my emotions and I keep on showing my temper on him when he does things that dont sync with me! I tell my mother about this as well..
My father is a heart transplant patient with a kidney failure as well! He is a sick man who needs help..he is a very nice person as well..but he behaves like a kid which kind of irritates me..I am not able to shower the luv I show towards others to him..I am really disappointed with this but I am not able to do it..I am sad Adi by reading ur post :( – need to talk to u :(
Thank you for your kind comments Adi, I hope my words made you feel less guilt, as no one should ever feel this deceiving emotion.
Dear Arjuna,
Lets speak. I actually am at a loss of words to reply to your comment. It’s such a touching feeling that you have such pure emotions towards your parents.
My number is 0091 9840 4159 00. Waiting to speak to you.
Am grateful to God to have introduced me to friends like you.
Lisa,
They sure did Lisa. They did something more than that actually. They have given me a new perspective to look at Life. And that’s what I am so grateful to you for. Please be with me. I need good people like you with me. Yeah I know am being selfish.
Adi,
OMG – I must apologize profusely. My words must seem harsh. I was curious where your city was in India and I was looking at a map. I did not realize that your city had been one hit by the Tsunami. I am so sorry. I feel very foolish for spouting about Natural Disasters in the way I did. Please I hope that no offense was taken.
L
Lisa,
There was no offense meant by you and hence none taken either! :)
Just be around! You know that, don’t you?!
some trains are running thru the guntur route..-probably they are filled up to brim..! Welcome home!
Thanks Hul! :)
Dear Adi – I need to thank God too for introducing great friends like u :)..thanks my dear friend :)
“God has his own ways of dealing with things. I find myself too small-minded to accept his ways”
you are not alone Adi trust me.
Arjuna:
The feeling is mutual! :) Thanks! :)
Ganesh:
Thanks for your comment
Adi – as promised to u earlier I have posted an article about silence – do read it – :)
Arjuna:
Thanks Arjuna. Just read through! It was profound!
hi adi
even i find myself too smallminded to accept his ways.
i think god is jealous of us(people on earth).
he is afraid that we would make our earth a heaven.
thats why these disasters occur in good places…
Hi Div,
It’s tough to accept his ways when it involves so much of destruction to life.
Earth is heaven. We shall make it better! :)
That’s very sad Adi, you’ll get your chance to visit your parents soon. I hope they arent affected by the storm.
“”teamwork” is important at workplace and how we should life our teammates when they are down or help them out in case they had some issues.”
Somewhere down the line, we slowly pushed our parents and family to the background. They are always there.
Nice point there
“Maathru Devo Bhava, Pithru Devo Bhava”
Sudhu:
No. By God’s grace, my parents are fine. They stay in Hyderabad which is not hit as badly as the other parts of the state. Thanks so much for your concern!
Krishna:
Thanks! :)