Dumb and dumber

April 10th, 2007 · 26 Comments

Most elders I know cannot be practical for some reason that I cannot understand.

As long as things don’t affect me I am not bothered because those are their beliefs and they are entitled to have them. Like my friend Anand Balaji once said (A Voltairian quote), “I might not agree with what you have to say. But I will die for your right to say it”, I extend the same logic to “beliefs”. “I might not believe in what you believe. But I will die for your right to believe in what you want. Kindly keep those beliefs to yourself and don’t affect lives around you”

Here is a list of popular things I came across that clash with normal sensibility. And before I proceed, I must apologize to my friend Shastri, for once fighting with him on my sensible assumption that “there are a few of these things that actually have scientific basis”.

My tata had passed away a few hours ago. We were in deep grief. My brother and I decided we get some dinner for those who want to eat. You are not supposed to light the stove when someone passes away in your house (#1). So, we had to go outside and get something packed for the people. We had just started eating (each one was in the mood to have a max of 2 idlis or something, that’s all) and the phone rang. It was one of my relatives. I told them that we were having dinner and that she could call later. Instantly a few elders pounced on me. You are not supposed to say you are having dinner when someone passes away in your house (#2).
My wife was having pains in the morning of April 3rd. We visited a doctor who asked us to get her admitted in the hospital, but did not specify when the delivery would happen. So, an elder suggested that we go home and just freshen up and leave. It was 8.45AM then. If she had stopped with that I would have been really impressed with her ability to think practically. But she added the next sentence which really tested my patience. “From 9:00AM to 10.30AM is rahukaalam. We shall leave home only after that”. You are not supposed to step out of your house during rahukaalam. (#3) I was surprised I didn’t shout. Here, we have a lady suffering from pain and was on the brink of delivery and we have someone telling me about rahukaalam. I haven’t yet come across anything more ridiculously impractical way of looking at life. But somehow we convinced the elder to take my wife to hospital before 9.00AM itself without freshening up. My wife was in the labour room at 10.45AM!
Once a baby is born in your house, you are not supposed to visit anyone’s house for 20 days from date of birth! (#4) Take that!
If you go to some place on Day 1, you are not supposed to leave from that place on Day 9. (#5) Day 8 is great, Day 10 is also fine. Day 9 committed some murder I guess!
If my wife goes to her parents’ place and stays overnight on Monday night or Friday night (I aint sure if this is Thursday or Friday! As if it matters! To me that is! ), she is not allowed to come back home on Tuesday and Saturday (#6). Bad days, can’t you figure that out?! Poor you! :(
The train was at 6.10PM. The station was a half an hour’s drive from home - 45 minutes at peak traffic. So, when will you leave? 5PM earliest? 4.45PM? Ok. But what if raahukalam is from 4.30PM to 6.00PM? You leave at 4.15PM, reach station at 4.35PM and count the number of doors and windows on the trains in the adjacent platform because your train wouldn’t have yet arrived on your platform! So much for being early!

There are many more such things. I will keep updating this list as and when I come across more such stuff. If you have anything, please let me know. Will be great to discuss.

My problem is not that people believe in such inane things. My problem is when it starts affecting the life you are living and the way you want to live it. Let people go to hell with their beliefs. I may be insensitive as that shows but the brandname “arrogant” that you get when you try telling people what you think about it is worse!

It is mainly fear that drives people who live by such superstitions. It’s a pity that even well-educated people fall into such traps. I will say it again to end this post, “I might not believe in what you believe. But I will die for your right to believe in what you want. Kindly keep those beliefs to yourself and don’t affect lives around you”

PS: This doesn’t mean I disrespect my elders and all that. Just that sometimes they transcend my idea of sense and sensibility and I disagree with them.

Tags: Humour · Serious thoughts · Personal

26 responses so far ↓

Sam // Apr 10, 2007 at 1:52 am

Adi,
Shastri will be so happy!

My mom’s solution to Rahukala problem:
If the train is at 6 pm and rahukala from 430 to 6,
1. With a suitcase or a bag ( khali bhi chalega) in your hand at 425, say bye to everyone.
2. Go out of the house (out of the gate)
3. Come back in, finish your packing and then leave whenever you want.

So silly, but I prefer this rather than waiting at station.
Shastri // Apr 10, 2007 at 2:41 am

Illappa… not really happy. In situations like this, I feel only frustrated. And at times, yes angry.

By taking an empty bag out, to avoid rahukala, you are not fooling anyone other than yourself (you know, I intend no disrespect to your mother. All our mothers are in fact the same).

I have a theory about this and one day might write a book. But for you privileged souls, here is the gist ;)

We believe in superstitions because our ancestors/elders did/do. Taking advices from your elders does come naturally to human beings and has an evolutionary advantage. For example, if we were born a few thousand years ago, it made most sense to heed to our elders who said ‘dont go into woods at night, the cheetah will eat you’. There must have been few adventurous souls who tried not to heed but I suppose they were promptly devoured by cheetahs!

So there was no way you could go against an established belief without the risk of taking yourself off from the gene pool. You had to heed, even when the local wizard said you have to sacrifice a goat to cure your piles.

Trying to distinguish from genuine advice and superstition might be cost your life.

Cut to modern times. We all still have the same mind set. We still have fear about disobeying a ‘tradition’ might cause danger. Something bad happens to some family. A wizened wise man says it happened because you left home on 9th day of arrival (or whatever). Any two points fit a straight line perfectly. It becomes an ‘established fact’ that leaving home on 9th day causes bad things. It has been passed on to us from someone who supposedly knows more about life and our human instincts compel us to believe him/her.
We tend to ignore all the data points that fall outside this belief’s straight line and would popularise the ones that fit the curve with the devotion of a missionary. It only takes us to find out from someone like ircti.co.in about the number of people who travel back on 9th day and prove to ourselves that this 9th day stuff is real bullshit. But we are blinded by our faith.
For all I know, your elders believe that they are acting in your best interests because they are heeding to warnings that were given by their elders.
It is so. Thats it.
The only thing you can do about this is to change it yourself. Break the link of baseless beliefs by testing out which one works and which one wont.

As far as the elders are considered, I only feel pity for them, seeing them carrying fossilised faith that is carried on due to evolutionary reasons.

Personally, I would not mind chest-deep water, but when the water comes to your neck, you better start treading some.
Mysorean // Apr 10, 2007 at 3:21 am

Sam:
Sha doesn’t quite seem to be happy! :)

LOL@ your mom’s solution to raahukala problem. She looks to be the perfect blend of common sense and age-old beliefs!

Shastri:
:)
Expected a much longer comment in fact!

“I would not mind chest-deep water, but when the water comes to your neck, you better start treading some.” I know exactly what you mean when you say that!
PizzaDude // Apr 10, 2007 at 3:26 am

Tell me about it!! It irritates me no end to hear such stuff from the elders. I try to reason it out with them as much as possible. If that does not work, I just nod along to what they say and then do what I want.
Veena Shivanna // Apr 10, 2007 at 5:06 am

I felt like I have read this whole list & some more somewhere. We folks(mukthabalaga) had an earlier discussions on why such beleifs & the reasoning. Quite a few of them given by Bellur & Srik were quite convincing.
One thing I have observed, most of the time we tend to attach these beliefs with our emotions.. why unnecessarily make the other person feel bad & tend to do.. or some fear at your corner of your mind or some previous experiences!
I personally avoid doing thing which elders say ‘No’, throughtout my experiences I have seen failures in such cases! Ultimately we are human is the only convincing answer I can give. But still given a chance I categorise myself as a lady with modern thoughts - to what degree this I can’t say.
An interesting post on Vani’s website on similar subject.
http://whitephosphorous.wordpress.com/2007/02/16/superstitions-of-the-west/
Prashanth M // Apr 10, 2007 at 5:31 am

Have faced almost all of these situations.. and didn’t know about #5 - poor day 9, I pity him… :P

and beware Friday the 13th is round the corner…
Srikaanth // Apr 10, 2007 at 6:40 am

Hmmmmmm Faith is tooo personal for a person. Its better left with him than digged about.

I had written almost a similar post here…which dealt with general topic of superstitious beliefs, which are more individual in taste. Dont miss the comment line in that post, for it provides more of such instances.
bachodi // Apr 10, 2007 at 9:42 am

Hey …!! this is my kind of post .. you stole it ;-) .

Good one , very nicely put. I gonna come back here and write a biiig comment here. I too am irritated many a times with such beliefs
Anand Balaji // Apr 10, 2007 at 10:13 am

“It is mainly fear that drives people who live by such superstitions.”

Well, you’ve said it all in this post! More often than not, it’s the tried and tested superstitions that manage to hold sway over rationalism.

What about the ill omen associated with a cat crossing your path, opening an umbrella inside the house, walking under a ladder or looking into a shattered mirror???

It’s like saying that only smokers suffer from lung cancer; that’s not the case and I can vouch for it. A few years ago a teetotaler family-friend passed away at 40 from lung cancer! How so?

Oh yes, we can blame it on Fate, can’t we!?!
Anand Balaji // Apr 10, 2007 at 10:14 am

Oh, and I fondly remember our first meeting online when I quoted Voltaire:)
vamC // Apr 10, 2007 at 3:34 pm

Interesting topic.
This made me remember my college days where i was planning to go back to college (Shimoga) from HYD on a particular
day, but my parents made me postpone it to day after saying that the day i planned for is not an auspicious one.
Even though it started with an argument i ended up going with their will.

Bus started from Imlibun as scheduled (around 6:30pm) and after crossing the city outskirts it broke down.
All of us had to wait for 3 hours, later i ended up being boarding 3 different buses and finally it took 28 hours to
reach shimoga (instead of 15 hours).
As soon i reached college, i called home and bounced back in such a way that now they dont look
for calendar during my travel plans anymore.

Most of the times, we tend to follow them as we care about their feelings.

Interestingly, if we notice it is during bad times that most of us tend to believe more in these beliefs and
end up doing whatever people suggest. Probably mindset gets changed completely during those circumstances.

Perr me, am sure we wouldnt have had any problem to follow those beliefs provided we get to know why and what is the significance
of those beliefs. Unfortunately they have never been able to answer as they themselves not quite sure about it.Period.
Mysorean // Apr 11, 2007 at 2:07 am

PizzaDude:
That’s the best way to handle it. You seem to be surrounded by many such knowledgeable elders!. Your learnings will help us a lot too! :)

Veena Shivanna:
What do you mean by “attaching these beliefs to emotions”?

You are a lady with modern thoughts and ancient ideas, that’s all! :D Just kidding!

Prashanth:
Friday the 13th… Ooohh!!

Srikaanth: (any numerology effect in adding that extra “a”?)
You are right when you say, “Faith is tooo personal for a person. Its better left with him than digged about”

But what do you do when they begin imposing those beliefs on you?

Read your post. That same dress one was hillarious! LOL! :D

Bachodi:
Let’s call this our post! ;) Waiting for your detailed comment!

Anand Balaji:
What’s that lung cancer thing got to do here? I really didn’t get the point! And our first meeting is always in my mind for its literary effect! :)

VamC:
28 hrs! LOL! Poor you man! After all the planetary and astrological consultations you still had to go through all that! Pity you! :)

During bad times what happens is we enter the ‘nothing to lose’ mindset. And once we are in there, we do whatever we are told and just hope fervently that the bad phase gets over! Finally the bad phase goes off as it came.

“Unfortunately they have never been able to answer as they themselves not quite sure about it” Sau take ki baat hai mama!
Veena Shivanna // Apr 11, 2007 at 4:01 am

what meant earlier was, just do it otherwise it will hurt the feelings of dear person, so there the factor emotion!..
Srikaanth // Apr 11, 2007 at 6:11 am

LOL….You found it!!

Yes, numerology, but i adopted it since i liked the suggestion.
Sundeep // Apr 11, 2007 at 6:54 am

My understanding of such beliefs is
We all have negative thoughts when doing any important task in our life. We have put 90% of the effort and have 10% dependence on the Luck (probably the getting an easier paper or things happening properly). Our elders have created the “Rahu kala” and some other time frames to appease the conflicting ideas and do our thing to the best of our abilities (100%). The importance to be given to such beliefs should be just 10%. But in reality some of us tend to give it 90% importance and 10% to actual effort involved.

Like many other things in many culture the reasoning fades away or loses its relevance as time goes by. So we are left with just Dos and Don’ts and not the reasons. Same holds good in Indian Astrology. They have set formulas to find the positions of stars etc. The derivations have long been forgotten and also nobody has enough time to redo the calculations. We just follow the rules many times they give good results though.

I am a partial believer of this system but totally agree with Adi when he said belief cannot be and should not be forced on others, it just need to be pointed out and let the person take the best option he thinks. A belief should come from with-in, without which it becomes irksome preaching.
Sundeep // Apr 11, 2007 at 7:01 am

Many a times when people ask us to believe something we dont ask them WHY, because of various resons. But once the episode is over we ask ourselves WHY and depending on our convictions we find various answers. The problem might be here, so always ask WHY.
Jeevan // Apr 11, 2007 at 9:20 am

There is nothing rahukaalam or emagandam when a life was suffering in pain. I personally don’t hope on this.

“Once a baby is born in your house, you are not supposed to visit anyone’s house for 20 days from date of birth!” I doesn’t know this, first time hearing.
suresh s // Apr 11, 2007 at 12:22 pm

1. I remember my parents insisting my brother to use his right hand while taking prasadam or while serving food to others. He is basically a lefthander, so gets more frustrated when asked to use the other.

2. U know people refuse to give away money on fridays! God help the poor souls who lend their money to such people. What if its an emergency?

3. Hey u forgot that CAT crossing ur way stuff. Dude that tops the list!!!
Mysorean // Apr 11, 2007 at 9:36 pm

Veena:
Ok. I see what you mean. And as I have said before that’s the best way to deal with the situation! Practical and no ugliness!

Srikaanth:
Your name, your wish!
Just out of curiosity, can you tell me what did they say while asking you to add that “a”?

Sundeep:
I agree with you totally!

And to add to your comment about astrology and all that: One of my friends once said that the formulae concieved by the Indian astrologers is perfect, but the problem is with time passing by they have not included “corrections” into them because of which they turn out to be contradictory with present day science. If including “corrections” is seen as blasphemy then there is little you can do about it! :) Right?!

Asking “Why?” is important. Very important. I have been born with that gift which sometimes proves to be irksome to the “believers”!

Jeevan:
You and I can see sense. The problem is with those people who believe in those things. They impose it upon you even if you are opposing. In fact, the more you oppose the more they impose!

And yes, that 20 days stuff is being followed in my house! :( And there seems to be nothing I can do about it!

Suresh S:
1. I wanted to add this “right hand” stuff. Good you brought it up!

2. The organization I work in, presently, doesn’t make payments on Fridays! I couldn’t believe it when I came to know of it!

3. Cat crossing your way… yeah.. you are so right! :) That should be #1! :)
shark // Apr 11, 2007 at 11:37 pm

Couldn’t agree with you more! though I have to confess, I am superstitious when I want to ;-) Like for eg when I am going for an important exam and stuff, I make sure I leave before/after Raahukaalam.. come on! who wants to take risk in such cases…:)

Also, in case you have not noticed, the number of superstitions and need to press it on “others” increases with age!!
shark // Apr 11, 2007 at 11:39 pm

Completely off the topic by why is there always a javascript error when I try to put some comments on your page?

Also, password for the previous post? - If it can/willbe shared.
Anand Balaji // Apr 11, 2007 at 11:41 pm

Hi Aditya!
I was trying to draw parallels between superstition and reality — Que Sera, Sera!
Jeevan // Apr 13, 2007 at 9:18 am

Wish you a Happy Tamil New Year. Have a nice time:)
Mysorean // Apr 14, 2007 at 11:38 pm

Shark:
I know how superstitious you are. I remember one post of yours where you had written about tying some thread around a tree before doing something. Found that really unbelievable! :)
And that second observation of yours is so true!
Password kaliside mail nalli.

Anand Balaji:
Ok. Get it!

Jeevan:
Thanks and wish you the same da!
Priya // May 3, 2007 at 3:37 am

have you heard about ‘Yamagandam’…it works similar to ‘rahukalam’ same rules..if people need to go out..it is only before/after yamagandam…something i learnt after marriage…. hmmm
Mysorean // May 4, 2007 at 3:03 am

Priya:
It is impossible not to hear about the ‘yamagandam’ crap! :)

I find it really foolish to see people believing in all that stuff! :) What say you?

Mysorean

Dumb and dumber

April 10th, 2007 · 26 Comments

26 responses so far ↓

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