I think we ought always to entertain our opinions with some measure of doubt. I shouldn’t wish people dogmatically to believe any philosophy, not even mine.
Bertrand Russell
Sometimes we believe that our opinion defines us. Other times, we believe our stature depends on how steadfastly we stand by our opinion. Our opinion we believe is a strong indicator of our self-worth. And this is the most recognized form of advertisement in the society. When you look through the ‘opinion’ lens, the most successful person is one whose opinion is no longer an opinion but is considered as a ‘fact’ by the society.
Let us examine this in a little more detail. It is not the opinion, per se, that we are concerned about. It is our attachment to the opinion. We believe it is ours and hence us. In a way, we define ourselves as a collection of opinions by attaching ourselves to it. People get offended when they hear this. People believe strong opinions is an indicator of a person’s capability of ‘doing’ things.
There is another school of thought. If you are opinionated, you will take a stand and hence will be an interesting person to talk to. In fact, the truth is we do not want to spend time with a person and know him/ her better. We just want to slot them into one of the stereotypes we have developed based on our limited life experience. One of the common stereotypes is ‘Good’ and ‘Bad’ people. Very often I hear statements like, “He is such a good man”, “She is such a nice lady”, etc. etc. Very clearly we are setting ourselves up for disappointment.
When Sachin declared that he was an actor and not a cricketer to save a few crores of rupees worth of tax people were almost shocked. “Such a nice person how can he do such a thing” as if he had just committed a murder. People started getting disappointed with Sachin itself. I think it would be easier to alter your opinion. Then came along a Yoga Baba who started the entire corruption hungama. But then people were like, why would someone who teach Yoga to people try to teach how to run the Government? Nowadays even his Yoga classes are going empty apparently!
We are forming opinions based on what we see and hear. Unfortunately, what we have not seen or heard is always more than what we have. Yet we are quick to form opinions and act and decide based on that. Sometimes we realise our haste. But more often than not it is all happening in unawareness. We can be aware enough to see what is not seen and hear what is not heard, if we can avoid judgments. That is the first step. Opinions and judgments are a hindrance to experiencing what life has to offer. And we seem to be living with disappointments mostly because of this. We need to learn to live life, not live our opinions.
And these oversimplifications are often expressed in a very mobbish way. Dhoni’s house under construction was destroyed when he lost and thank God they did not deify him when he won the big cup. But the same fanatics might have gone onto the streets driving rashly and honking in a frenzy.
Some holistic health practitioners say we will be a lot healthier if we learn not to judge.
Again, it helps to know the difference between the words ‘judge’ and ‘evaluate’. :)
This is my pet subject as a counsellor and trainer. I totally endorse the author’s views and expression. A piece well written – simple and insightful! he could have completed the Sachin and the Yoga Guru stories to complete the loop and clinch the point!
Very thoughtfull piece. 1st 3 paras are super. Or I feel that way because it coincides with my opinions!
It is better to have a good measue of flexibility than a large dose of opinionated attitude. It helps us see and learn a lot of things which we would otherwise miss.
Those who cannot change his mind cannot change anything! -G.B.Shaw
Very thoughtful piece. 1st 3 paras are super. Or I feel that way because it coincides with my opinions!
It is better to have a good measue of flexibility than a large dose of opinionated attitude. It helps us see and learn a lot of things which we would otherwise miss.
Those who cannot change his mind cannot change anything! -G.B.Shaw
Reminds me of my debating days.
We all know that in discussion we hear each other out, while in debate we just counter reply with a ‘pre conceive notion’ that person opposite is is wrong. I was the last one and hence rebut. I started “The other team is Assuming stuffs, so let us the spell the word assume first. ASS-U-ME, i.e making a ass out of you and me”. I said that to win the debate, but now it seem so relevant
I feel that word assume itself is a problem. People first assume and then draw conclusions based on their assumptions. The other relevant problem I feel is that we need to think dispassionately. Dispassionate is neither dry nor boring. It simply means looking at things with no bias or objective whatsoever. A very very difficult thing to practice. How cool would be things if people stop looking at thing with pre-conceive opinions or notions.
Nice Post. I hope people stop their fav hobby of forming opinions.
Nicely done Adi. I liked the way you have articulated your thoughts and put that in writing. Hoping to see more interesting topics discussed in your blog.