Mysorean

[Via email from suchetha]

In the world of romance, one single rule applies to the men:
Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+1)

You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return with Beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)

You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)

You pummel it with iron rod (+10)

It’s her pet (-10)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy(-2)

Named Rita (-4)

Rita is a dancer (-6)

Rita is single and is really beautiful (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY

You forget her birthday (-50000)

You take her out to dinner (0)

You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar (+1)

Okay, it’s a sports bar (-2)

And it’s all-you-can-eat night (-3)

It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted

the colours of your favourite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie (+2)

You take her to a movie she likes (+4)

You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

You take her to a movie you like (-2)

It’s called ‘DeathCop’ (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaian shirts (-30)

You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.” (-8000)

ENJOY THE ‘BIG’ QUESTION

She asks, “Do I look fat?” (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]

You hesitate in responding (-10)

You reply, “Where?” (-35)

Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

[An email fwd via Naveen]

As I was passing the elephants, I suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not.

I saw a trainer near by and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away.

“Well,” he said, “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.”

I was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were.

Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before?

[via Iti]

Imagine you’re in an Airport. While you’re waiting for your flight, you notice a bakery counter selling fresh cookies. You buy a box, put them in your traveling bag and then you patiently search for an available seat so you can sit down and enjoy your cookies. Finally you find a seat next to a gentleman. You reach down into your traveling bag and pull out your box of cookies.

As you do so, you notice that the gentleman starts watching you intensely. He stares as you open the box and his eyes follow your hand as you pick up the cookie and bring it to your mouth. Just then he reaches over and takes one of your cookies from the box, and eats it! You’re more than a little surprised at this. Actually, you’re at a loss for words. Not only does he take one cookie, but he alternates with you. For every one cookie you take, he takes one.

Now, what’s your immediate impression of this guy? Crazy? Greedy? He’s got some nerve?! Can you imagine the words you might use to describe this man to your associates back at the office? Meanwhile, you both continue eating the cookies until there’s just one left. To your surprise, the man reaches over and takes it. But then he does something unexpected. He breaks it in half, and gives half to you. After he’s finished with his half he gets up, and without a word, he leaves.

You think to yourself, “Did this really happen?” You’re left sitting there dumbfounded and still hungry. So you go back to the shop and buy another box of cookies. You then return to your seat and as you begin opening your new box of cookies, you glance down into your traveling bag. Sitting there in your bag is your original box of cookies — still unopened.

Only then do you realize that when you reached down earlier, you had reached into the other man’s bag, and grabbed his box of cookies by mistake. Now what do you think of the man? Generous? Tolerant? You’ve just experienced a profound paradigm shift. You’re seeing things from a new point of view. Is it time to change your point of view?

[via Boopesh]

How much is a kind word worth? How deeply can a touch heal? How important are your little interactions with your family, friends, and clients?

Hairdresser David Wagner learned these answers from a customer who came to him regularly every month. One day she phoned David in between her regular visits and asked if he would style her hair for an important event that evening. David fit her into his schedule and gave her his usual loving attention. He talked amiably with her, laughed, touched her kindly, and told her how beautiful she looked. After her session, she smiled and thanked him.

You can imagine David’s shock when a few days later he received a handwritten letter from the woman explaining that the important event she wanted to look good for that evening was her own funeral. She had planned to commit suicide later that day. When she spent time with David, however, the kindness he showed her influenced her to change her mind. She decided that life was worth living, and she could go on.

This extraordinary feedback inspired David to reconsider what he was doing with his work and his life. He realized that his purpose with customers went far beyond cutting hair. Within his own sphere of influence he had the power to make people’s days – and even lives. So he adopted the vocation of “Daymaker.” Now, as owner of ten successful spas that treat thousands of people each day, David teaches his employees to see themselves as daymakers.

His inspiring book Life as a Daymaker chronicles his adventures and techniques. Never underestimate the power of a kind word or thought. It may affect one or many, many people without you even knowing it. Even a gentle touch can make a huge difference.

My friend Rick Jarrow was participating in an intensive Zen meditation retreat that required him to meditate many hours a day in rigorous conditions. One morning Rick decided this was just too hard, and he would leave the retreat after the morning silent walking meditation practice. During the walk, a student behind Rick gently placed his hand on Rick’s shoulder. “In that touch,” Rick told me, “I felt totally comforted and encouraged. It was as if my friend was saying, ‘I know this is hard for you. I believe in you. You have what it takes to do this.’ So I decided to stay, and I went on to gain tremendous strength from that retreat. That touch was the turning point.”

You don’t even need to speak or touch someone to help them. You can serve simply by the energy of your being. Emerson noted, “Who you are speaks to me so loudly that I can hardly hear what you are saying.” Indeed at every moment we radiate empowerment or discouragement simply by the feelings we dwell in.

One day while I was standing in line at a deli counter, I noticed a woman in a line beside mine. She kept looking at me as if she knew me. I didn’t recognize her, so I just kept moving ahead. When we finally arrived at the counter at the same time, the woman turned to me and asked, “Why are you so happy?” Her question took me by surprise. I wasn’t thinking about being happy or even trying. “I guess I’m just glad to be here and alive,” I answered. “How about you?” I asked her. “How is your day going?” She thought for a moment and then answered, “Well, it wasn’t going so well. But now that I saw you, I feel a lot better.”

With that, we both smiled and went on our ways. As I thought more about her comment, I realized it was the most meaningful compliment I could ever receive. Just being was healing. I have experienced such healing simply by seeing a peaceful person for a moment.

One day I was rushing through an airport when I noticed a man who looked unusually serene. His face was soft, his gait was light, and his demeanor felt comforting. In that moment my energy shifted from anxious hurry to deep peace. Though he will never know it, he taught me that airports are not necessarily stressful. Stressful thoughts are more dangerous than airports. If we choose healing thoughts, we become a beacon of peace in apparently dense or dark places.

A friend went to pick up a revered rabbi from the airport. As the two drove toward the tollbooths to exit the airport parking lot, my friend had to choose between an automatic payment lane and a lane manned by an attendant. “Take the lane where you pay a person,” the rabbi urged him. “Why is that?” asked my friend. “Because any opportunity to make contact with another human being is a blessing from God,” answered the rabbi.

In this light, every one of our interactions is a prayer. There are no chance encounters and no small meetings. Everyone we meet is sent to us by God for a noble purpose. Every relationship, no matter how brief, is an invitation to connect. As we remember to keep love first, we have our priorities in order and we might even save someone’s life – beginning with our own.