“bird’s nest jise chidiyon ka ghosla kaha jaata hai kal se itna bhara hua nahin rahega”

“yeh ek aitihasik olympics hai duniya ke liye kyonki india ne apna first gold medal jeeta hai individual category mein”

“olympic ki shama ab bujhne jaa rahi hai….aakhri baar yeh shama jwalit hai….isse dekhkar ek pankti yaad aa rahi hai….” you won’t believe what came next….he started singing “shama hai suhana suhana….” dont miss the play on the word “sama”

Thanks to a friend [Link] of a friend [Link] for capturing this though her orkut scraps! If anyone has captured it on video then please let me know. I missed it! No not the ceremony, the commentary! :)

This was on Headlines Today. It should be called Headless today!

First scroller:
SALMAN KHAN IS TRAVELING IN JET AIRWAYS 9W… IN SEAT NUMBER 3C

Second scroller:
OUR JOURNALIST IS SITTING NEXT TO HIM

Third scroller:
SALMAN IS SENDING MESSAGES TO HIS NEAR AND DEAR

Fourth scroller:
SALMAN APPEARS COOL AND COMPOSED

—————–

From the CNN IBN website:

SRK flaunts six-pack look, charms Sania Mirza
(and they had an interview with Sania mirza for about 3 minutes on NDTV)

Did anyone bother what the news was about?
—————–

Headlines Today’s coverage of this event:

With these scrollers running,

First scroller:
SANIA MIRZA SPOTTED IN A POLKA DOTTED DRESS WITH A SHRUG

Second scroller:
SANIA MIRZA’S ATTIRE ON COURT HAS ALWAYS BEEN CONSERVATIVE

the news channel had Mr. Dilip Cherian and somebody else on the studio to discuss the whole thing out. Is anyone channel bothered about what the event was? It was supposed to be a promotional event for the Sunfeast Open.
—————–

Katrina Kaif had once been to Jaipur to visit Salman Khan in jail. HT’s coverage with visuals of the jail entrance for over 5 minutes. The scrollers again:

First scroller:
KATRINA KAIF IS VISITING SALMAN KHAN IN JAIL

Second scroller:
SHE IS WEARING A WHITE KURTA AND BLUE JEANS TO SEE HIM

Third scroller:
ALONG WITH HER ARE SOHAIL KHAN AND SALMAN’S SISTER

I am sure you have seen funnier news. Comments section is open! :)

SRK, it seemed, went out of the way just to be a complete opposite of whatever AB was. Unfortunately, he also went on to break the norm that AB had set regarding dignity. The ‘petticoat’ joke though drew smiles initially, later showed that SRK was trying hard not-to-be-AB. SRK didn’t have to do that. AB was just being himself and SRK could have been himself and if that meant there were similarities then so be it. Why unnecessarily try to not-be something that you are anyway not?

For my part, I never wanted to compare SRK with AB when I sat down to watch the show. But I had a secret desire to see how better SRK handles the show. I was waiting to see his so-called on-screen charisma translating into this live show and the spontaneity translating into witty one-liners. That combination of charisma and wit combined with the boyish charm that he exudes would have done wonders to KBC. But alas! SRK tries hard to do something he doesn’t need to and fails miserably. And what more, he tries so much not to be AB that you end up comparing the two of them and that’s where the “miserably” failing part becomes a ”disgusting” failure. 

It is just been SRK’s first day and there might be accusations of being harsh about him thrown at me. But then, SRK is an established star and has his own fan base. Any Indian who has an interest in movies definitely knows about SRK and unless he is somebody born after 2000, he knows about AB too. There is no point in SRK trying to tell the audience that he is going to be different from AB in all aspects in such a loud manner. By doing that he is only hurting the honour that the show has because of AB. AB brought a quiet dignity to the show with his humility, dressing sense and impeccable use of both the languages (Hindi and English). There were shows when AB came on with a leather jacket and looked suave and sophisticated in that too. It was all in the manner in which AB carried himself. The show ran on his shoulders. Despite being a tremendously popular concept outside India, it needed a man of AB’s calibre to acutally transform it into an Indian show. The show also revealed (PS: revealed, not deliberately exposed) the emotional side of AB. AB was an icon to millions of Indians. Whenever the ‘Phone-a-friend’ lifeline was used, the awe for AB was displayed in the almost choked voices of the speaker on the other side. I remember in one episode, as soon as AB delivered his customary “Namaskar, main Amitabh Bachchan bol raha hun Koun Banega Crorepati se” the lady on the other side broke down. I guess the same would happen to me however prepared I would be for the call. God save my friend who choses me as his ‘friend’ for this show now, because I will just start off with telling SRK what exactly I think of him! And I might break down because of the way in which SRK has brought the honour and dignity of the show down. Not because he wanted to, but he because he wanted not to be like AB. I wonder if the producers of the show were sleeping during the time when SRK decided to take this route to his first episode.

SRK tries to customize the show to the background of his contestant and is not consistent with it. He begins to call the computer “Compaq da” because it is Prosenjit Sarkar (a Bengali) who is sitting at the other end. And as time passes, he calls it Mr. Computer and what not, but never “computerji” because that’s what AB used even if it came naturally to him. Then when it’s Mr. Guggala (an Andhraite) the computer’s name starts with ”Computer gaaru” to the usual anything but “computerji”. Not only does SRK play around with the computer’s names he makes fun of the contestant’s names too. But I should say he carefully treads that line without getting derogatory. But it isn’t as funny as he wants it to be. You would have laughed at the same jokes a hundred times before and it only gets tiring. Then comes the “jhappi” or “hug” or “gale lagna” that’s SRK’s new introduction to the game. But his comment about ”Quitting the game” (coined by AB) being negative was uncalled for. Hitting AB below the belt when he is not actually bothered is so derogatory for a star of SRK’s stature. SRK’s options for language are quite limited and hence he chose to say that I will use the language that suits the audience the best. Quite good for a sales pitch but the entire coutnry knows about AB’s impeccable langugage skills and his ability to handle both with superlative flair. SRK can only speak what he knows and this shows and he should have been silent about it and we would have understood and taken him at face value. Unnecessarily speaking one sentence in shuddh hindi and asking if anyone understood now went to the extent of hurting those who were KBC fans. Unnecessary and totally uncalled for. And don’t pull me into mentioning his comparison with George Clooney and saying “Kyon, hum mar gaye kya?”. Ok, that was a good one compared to all the other ones he tried to crack!

If SRK is allowed to go on in this fashion, KBC will fade into oblivion even if the prize money offered is more than Rs. 2 crores. SRK needs to take his own place and make the show his own by being himself rather than not-being-AB. It will only irritate viewers and take them away from the screen. And there is a danger of failure that exists. And that failure can take a heavy toll on SRK’s brand equity on-screen too. And that will have huge implications on the film industry’s fortunes. So, take care SRK. A lot is riding on you.       

And I rate both the misses on the same scale. Missing to watch Ganguly make 98 especially when Krishnamachari Srikkanth described the knock on CNN-IBN as ‘He (Ganguly) was in full flow’ is a great miss. Ganguly is a treat to watch when he gets going on Indian pitches. And as Dravid says he set India up for victory. Well, maybe. But I didn’t see it.

BCCI, in it’s penchant to make money, must have forgotten to include pre-qualification clauses in its bid to sell off the television rights to the highest bidder. I can imagine the widening of the eyes of the BCCI’s officials as soon as they saw Neo sports bid at USD 612 million (approx Rs. 2,700 crores)!

I was under the impression that the primary responsibility of BCCI was to be accountable to the fans of cricket of this country. And what do they end up doing? Make money and deny the fans access to some brilliant fireworks display. I am seriously thinking of invoking RTI (Right to Information Act) on the entire process of awarding these bids. How can one not include one simple line to the effect that “The channel, to which the producer sells the rights, should have access to atleast so many homes in India through cable TV or otherwise”. Another substitute (in the case that the channel doesn’t have the desirable reach) could be, “The producer agrees to feed-sharing with Prasar Bharti on a mutually agreeable revenue-sharing basis”.

I think it’s fair to give Doordarshan, however bad their quality of telecast and commentary might be, 25% of the revenue because of its reach. Reaching all those rural areas where cricket is enjoyed for all its worth is indeed something and Doordarshan can be given that credit.

But coming to this added condition of “encrypting the signal” that Nimbus has added now, it is surprising. First of all, I ain’t sure if Doordarshan has the capability to understand what encryption is being talked about here and why this demand all of a sudden? Second and final point, I don’t think that Doordarshan can do any form of encryption at all! The I & B Ministry is planning to introduce a law to change the rules of the game. Instead I think the better idea would be to bring BCCI to understand it’s role and responsibilities!

Coming back to the topic, was reading up on cricinfo about the first ODI. And liked this description of Chanderpaul’s innings here:

He (Ganguly) didn’t end as the top-scorer – Shivnarine Chanderpaul, crab-like in technique but pitbull-like in his ability to fight, stood atop a batting mountain. Raging against the dying light, he refused to give up the fight and played what both Brian Lara and Rahul Dravid termed was “one of the best innings while chasing”. Chanderpaul himself put it alongside the 150 he’d clattered against South Africa at East London.

I would go with Ramesh Powar instead of Ajit Agarkar from the next ODI. To hell with the winning-combination-should-not-be-disturbed theory, I think that bad-players-should-be-dropped theory more! Bringing back Sehwag for the Sri Lanka series would be a good idea. He has justified the call by performing well in the domestic season with a century in the only match he got to play. But the point is, whom will I bring him in place of? Even Yuvraj is due to claim his place back. It will be interesting to see whom we drop for the WC!   

It’s either reality or it’s a show – it can’t be both! Whatever these American or Australian channels call their TV shows becomes a mantra for us! Suddenly, we have launched into all kinds of those shows (I refuse to use oxymorons as long as I am not aware of them!). But Indian television screen is a kind of used-scripts market. Any successful foreign show is just copied and pasted onto the Indian screen with even the same sets. The only Indian shows (reality or otherwise, but involving real audience) that did really take off were “Antakshari” and “Sa re ga ma”. Apart from that, every other show was a straight adaptation of the foreign original.

Anyway, I am not here to talk about the Indian shows that are doing the rounds and which ones are copied from where kind of an investigative study here. I was just wondering what’s happening on this ‘Big Brother’ show? Why is there so much of coverage on Shilpa Shetty being called all four-lettered words?! What is the whole issue? And is it an issue at all? These news channels seem to be relaying it on their main news headlines so much that you would begin to wonder if Shilpa Shetty is some official diplomat of the country?!  

To begin with, these 24/7 news channels have not much to cover till a ”Saddam is hanged” or “Abhishek gets engaged to Aishwarya” or “Why Afzal should be hanged?” or some such thing. So, when Shilpa is being called names on live TV it needs to be shown, right?!

Racist slur – they (the news channels) call it. Clash of cultures and class – the programme owners call it. Quite obviously, both trying to increase their respective viewership base. To damn with Shilpa Shetty.

Coming back to the real world (not the reality show real!) racism exists. Look at this post, now that’s real life. People want to be racist only to ‘certain ears’ and not to everybody. Sadly, on ‘Big Brother’ I guess the contestants forgot that they were being caught on camera like Gibbs was caught by the stump microphone.

Further, when you talk to people who return from UK and USA you get to hear so many stories of direct racism, but they bear with it and come back because they went there for a purpose and always want to come back to their own country. 

One of the CEOs of a top organization in India who has worked for 30 plus years in the US and came back once told me that it is impossible to grow beyond a certain level in an American company. They always prefer the American over you in case both of you are tied on performance for the next promotion. Now, that’s racism. And for real that too! So, the CEO came back to India and decided to settle down here for good.

A horde of my friends staying in the US and UK are constantly telling me about the racist attitude they need to put up with. That is reality. Nobody shows that. Because they say their society is tolerant and they will not tolerate such racism. If they pinch themselves they will also know that’s not the truth!

Unwittingly, ’Big Brother’ has brought to the surface what was always below the table. Raising a storm in Indian media, Governments are discussing what to do next (maybe a nuclear attack would have happened if we were US and the show was Iraqi!), Shilpa Shetty’s family doesn’t want ’unnecessary politicisation‘ - maybe their payment terms with Big Brother are 80% post-completion of the show, the sponsors are busy protecting their brands and the police has just arrived on the scene. In the meanwhile, Channel4 continues making money, Indian media piggybacks on this trend as usual. This is the reality and I am showing it to you!